The Portal
(collage & embroidery on Japanese paper dipped in beeswax, 13 x 9 3/4"
Maybe it's the winter blues, maybe it's a stage of life, but I find myself with a restless energy wondering what's next. I'm sure many of you can identify, especially if you are in your mid-50s and still in awe that you could have come to be such a ripe age, wondering what you are going to do when you grow up. Sometimes I look around and see that I have all the trappings of a grown up, including a wonderful husband (although no children), a too-big house full of too much stuff, more than enough responsibilities, financial worries, never enough time...the list goes on. But I certainly don't feel like a full-fledged adult. I haven't gotten it right yet....there is still something else...the next thing.
My father had a saying that has stayed with me through the years and which I find resonating even now, providing a push of courage to keep moving forward. He was fond of saying, at just the right moments, "It's never as late as you think." In some circles, these are known as the encore years and people often switch gears at my age and even older, to give themselves to another career entirely.
I think this is why the notion of portals are coming to mind. Gateways, entrances to the next thing. A curiosity to discover more, to continue learning and to grow. I'll be posting this new series at Missouri Bend Studio . In the meantime, I am summoning the trust to move through the next portal, just to see if I can become more fully me.
The Portal (detail)
Yes, I'm nodding my head in agreement. For years I've had the attitude... never mind, my turn will come .... one day I will have time to do all the things I want to do. Now I realize I can't keep thinking like that because the time is now. I'm giggling at your remark about being " in awe that you could have come to be such a ripe age". I still feel young and yet I am now "the older generation". Gasp! No time to lose!
ReplyDeleteHi Robyn....yes, it is a strange place to be isn't it? We are definitely young, but compared with many people I interact with, I'm so much older. My mother was my age (56) when she passed away and I realize how very young she was then! Still so much life to live and maybe it's just that we've lived enough of it to know how precious are the days and years! Great to hear from you....cheers!
DeleteI am nodding along with Robyn. It's such a strange feeling to be 57 going on 58 with a brain that thinks I'm much younger! It's all terribly exciting to think so much is still possible. If only I could remember where I put my reading glasses and the key to the front door! Your work is beautiful as always.
ReplyDeleteHi Carole...thank you, glad you like the work! Knowing just how young we feel inside our 50+ bodies, it's probably good to remember that this no doubt continues...and that folks in their 80s are probably feeling so much younger inside as well! Yes, I'm sure so much is still possible! Best to you...
DeleteHi Patti -portals and doorways are fascination things, and great imagery and inspiration for art. Di dyou catch up with barry's portal recently? http://rustnstuff.blogspot.com.au/2014/01/portal-of-memories.html
ReplyDeleteGo well...
Fiona...great to hear from you! Just ran off to see Barry's post...what a beautiful transformation...and indeed a portal! Hope you are both well and thriving....cheers!
DeleteHi P - I saw a tee shirt that said if you have not grown up by the time you are 50 you don't have to. I think that is now my motto. Portals are such powerful things - doorways that are risky - but for sure they offer a new way. Looking forward to seeing where they portals take you. Go well - peace. B
ReplyDelete