I've just added this little hand stitched collage drawing to my shop. I started out making these little bits as separate drawings and then realized that they wanted to be layered together. It measures 4"x6" but somehow has the illusion (at least to me) of being a bit bigger.
And....I found this spare teabag drawing the other day and so added that to my shop....who can resist the warm tones of a used teabag....okay, plenty of people can, I realize, but still there is something appealing about those rich mottled tones that echoes time and experience.
Speaking of experience....I'm experiencing extreme ennui these days....what a great word to describe such a dullness of spirit. I've just looked it up to make sure this is what I was talking about....and yes, "a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement."
That pretty much hits it on the head. Feeling uninspired and quite in limbo, as I contemplate next steps, hunting for a job in a town where there are none to speak of and knowing a long commute might be necessary....needing a new energy in the studio....a real shake-up, that's what I need!
In a pinpoint of light and inspiration and daring myself to rise to the occasion, I just grabbed a few sheets of sturdy drawing paper and thought I'd head outside and draw from the landscape. Now, that's a shakeup! For anyone who knows my work, it is pretty obvious that I never draw from actual life, but from distilled experience. I normally work intuitively, so that while I would say I don't draw from observation directly....I do draw from observation, but filtered through my senses, memory and experience.
I think it's probably a good idea when one is experiencing ennui to challenge oneself to a new and maybe uncomfortable experience. And now, if I am going to follow through on my courageous idea, I'd better head outside to see what comes of it. Might be frustration, on the other hand, it might just be the inspiration I need to put the ennui behind me!
Hope your days are filled with inspiration and creative spirit!
A fellow ennuist here. I decided to try out different bookbinding techniques in the hopes that change brings along some life into my, well, life. I've been creating some good collages lately, and they're actually the result of this feeling of ennui, but that success hasn't translated into personal satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteHi Kaija....well, what can I say....it doesn't make sense to say "welcome to the Ennui Circle", as it's one of those periods that are not really quite welcome, but I think you are making beautiful work despite or maybe through the ennui....at some point personal satisfaction will arrive at the back door, knocking quietly.
DeleteI've lately been thinking about the idea of 'embracing' one's difficult feelings...the ones that don't fit into the 'comfortable [i.e. happy]' categories of our lives. Ennui is one of those difficult feelings. I've started to think about this because my instinct tells me that these feelings are needed more than ever in this difficult world we live in now, because these feelings (the ones we push back) are where important discoveries lie. I mean ideas, impulses, healings, growth, etc. I've been thinking of describing mine to myself in my journal, but I keep pushing the feelings away to delay them. They are filed under 'fear.' *smiles* Norma
ReplyDeleteHi Norma...I think you are totally right that it's a good thing to embrace these uncomfortable feelings. I find myself watching myself as if from the other rocking chair on the porch....or actually wherever I am or whatever I'm doing. There is a kind of shadow self that is always asking and questioning whether what I'm doing is satisfying, helpful or the thing I should be doing. I don't mean should in an obligatory way, but the kind of should that implies flow and the right fit. I think you are also right that these feelings, including ennui, hold tremendous possibility for discovery. We think we know ourselves, but not only do we forget the things we already know....we forget that we are continually evolving and changing. I think I mistake my ennui for a sense of life not moving at all...like a stagnant pool, but I realize there is a lot churning under the surface. A journal is a good idea and I need to get back to writing, so thanks for your great input!! Cheers!
DeleteI hope that the visit with ennui was not/is not an overlong one Patti - but that it brings new ways of seeing and being perhaps. How did that rush to the outdoors go? It seems most unlike you and most unlike me so I will be interested to see how you fared! Go well.
ReplyDeleteHello Fiona! That's funny that you asked how the venture with drawing outdoors went....well, not surprisingly, it was a dismal failure. I had no patience, nor true interest. I gave it a shot, but the experiment ended quickly in even more frustration. Well, there should be a lesson in there....I learn once again that my work comes from the inside out and not the outside in. The ennui comes and goes....I sometimes feel like an engine that needs some new spark plugs. Hope you are full of vitality, as always! Cheers to you!
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