|Started stitching on top of the drawing.|
Well, I'm back after a bit of a break. Johntimothy and I had a quick getaway in Omaha, which is about two hours from here. For us, it's going to the "big city", which means visiting the museum and the contemporary art center, the gardens (for the first time) and the zoo. Lots of sensory input, which for me, as wonderful as it is, often sends me into an artistic tailspin! It takes me time to process things and as much as I find myself in a hurry so much of the time, I operate best in a slow unfolding of time. This is a lesson which I must relearn periodically, as I did yet again this morning. Yesterday, I was all excited to be in the studio, to sort of pick up where I left off, but found myself adrift and at a loss. Actually, quite lost and so frustrated. I always try to analyze what's happening inside when this inability to work seizes me. I think there are wires crossed in terms of making the work that is inside me to make...the kind that is made with slowness and takes time...and the work I put pressure on myself to make so that I can create art that is affordable for people to buy. There is an inevitable conflict that arises and I have to just give myself a time out and sort things out internally. Just before I went to bed last night, in the faith that today would be a new day and my internal compass would right itself, I adhered three used teabags to three tiny sheets of Japanese paper. I didn't know what I would do and the only inkling I had was that I had a craving for stitching...just like when you get a craving for some food, but you're not quite sure what it is. This morning I went down to visit those pieces of paper with the lovely mottled teabags awaiting me. I made some little stitches on the first one and knew I'd made it back from lost. On the second one, I thought I'd test out this new white marker pen I got, but after making some tentative marks, I knew that it was really the stitching I was craving and now I am there making tiny stitches over the marker...ever so much more interesting I think. Tiny stitches...the slowness of time...making the work that I am called to make....why do I always have to be reminded of who I am?
I am also so very thankful for such a supportive husband who has never put the pressure on me to make the work that does not come naturally to me. It's a pressure I put on myself and although he completely understands how I get off my own track, he is quietly happy to see me find my compass.